Monday, July 14, 2008

Long time no write

Well, it's been over a year since I posted on Ellie's site. So I'll write a little more today, then we'll see what happens.

After the initial diagnosis/shock/denial, J (hubby) and I went through a lot of emotions.

A few memorable days that I remember were: (This is all before she was born)

#1) My Mom told me that if she died, maybe her organs could help save other babies. That made me feel better.

#2) I had a day that I decided to have a funeral. It was a funeral in my brain. It was for the perfect baby, the dreams and hopes that I had for her. I let that baby die and it allowed me to give new life (in my heart) to this new life inside of me. It was really a very healing day for me.

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